My fuzzy espionage friend Mikazuki and I are pleased to present you with this brief visual guide illustrating The Four Stages of Kitty-Induced Aggravation, as established by famous Swiss animal behaviorists in the 1960s. However, be advised this is for educational purposes only. My cat is a professional. Please don’t try this at home…

Stage 1, Denial: “Mika, you son of a bitch, DO NOT even think about it!”

Stage 2, Anger: “Goddamn it, Mika, get the FUCK down from there!!”

Stage 3, Bargaining: “Mika-chan, please don’t do that. Mika, please come down. Mika-chan?”

Stage 4, Acceptance: “Jesus Christ, he did it. I’m impressed. Now I need the step ladder.”

(Brisbane, California, March 2018. See more of Mika-chan and his brother Kuro-chan here. And see my other work here and here.)